"Just cause you feel it, doesn't mean it's there"

Last night I watched a Homewood cop in an all black cop car stop a guy from pulling out and straightening up his car. I say stop, because pull over isn't a term that can be used for this situation. He was already over; he had never left over.
"Could you please tell me what you've been drinking tonight that you can't see a cop car right behind you when you're pulling out? I'm the most visible thing on this street." As I looked at his black squad car, I thought of it as a nocturnal creature, blending seamlessly into its dark surroundings, perfectly camoflauged until you pass right in front of it, catching the creepy glint of its eyes.
This initial comment was undoubtedly because it was a Friday night and there is one bar in downtown Homewood called Oak Hill, about a hundred feet from where this guy was parked. An easy D.U.I., the policeman must have thought.
"I haven't been drinking at all."
"Oh, really? Is that so, 'cause you sure smell like alcohol." This guy must have a hyper-sensitive nose, since he couldn't have been less than three feet away from and above the person he was addressing. Or maybe the guy reeked of alcohol, but I doubt it.
"Where are you coming from this evening?"
"Home."
"Home? What, do you live here?" said snidely, looking up and down at the darkened store fronts.
I tried not to gawk as the driver proceeded to follow through with a field sobriety test. I can only imagine how nervous he must have felt with a group of six or seven people recently dispensed from the coffee shop his car was parked in front of, tuning in to the entertainment.
"If you stop being a dick, I won't have to be a dick."
Just because you have a gun and a uniform doesn't mean you can treat people like trash. Or maybe it does. Maybe the vulgar and ill-founded exchange was actually a gift. Who doesn't love telling the "I got pulled over by a crazy machismo of a cop for straightening up my parking job" story? He'll be able to tell that story and maybe even retell it to some people for a week or two before it gets tired and boring. There aren't many stories you can say that about.